Just like Showtime's Masters of Sex — the blockbuster TV series about William Masters' and Virginia Johnson's sex research in the 1950s — has taught us, most of us are fascinated by the inner workings of our sex drive (whether or not we admit it). But in these chilly winter months, the time of year packed with rich foods and heavy outfits, we're often left feeling about as sexy as a fruitcake.
Fortunately, science has provided us plenty of information on how to heat up a dampened sex drive. So here are five ways to use science in your sexual favor.
Be pleasure-oriented, not orgasm-oriented
Research has shown that most women are pleasure-oriented in their sexual encounters, not orgasm-oriented. In fact, feeling pressure to respond in a certain way to sex can make the whole experience less pleasurable for everyone — but especially for women. So embrace the "circle approach," where any activity on the perimeter of the circle can be an end in and of itself, not necessarily leading to orgasm. With your sexual encounters, just try building intimacy one step at a time — kissing, touching, etc., without an end goal in mind.
Do your Kegels
In my early research with women, I worked with women to help strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. We've all heard of the wonders of Kegel exercises, and truly, the physical benefits to sexual pleasure have been documented in numerous studies. Plus, you can practice them anywhere! Whether sitting or standing, simulate the movement in your body of trying to stop the flow of urine, then relax these muscles. Strengthen and relax 15 times, building up to 100 times.
A natural, sexual fitness supplement for women, ArginMax is the only supplement available of its kind that has clinically proven results to enhance pleasure. It's actually one of very few sexual supplements supported by placebo-controlled clinical trials, and utilizes a blend of ingredients (gingko and damiana, among others) designed to increase sexual health: Gingko facilitates microvascular circulation involved in sexual arousal mechanisms, and damiana has been shown to affect hormone receptors and reduce anxiety.
In our research, we've found that many women are able to experience orgasm from imagery alone. This certainly isn't the case with all women, but in studying "easily orgasmic" subjects, we examined the areas of the brain stimulated by imagery orgasm compared to genital-stimulated orgasm and found they were the same areas. Moreover, participants' orgasmic responses were the same in terms of increases in blood pressure, increases in heart rate, increases in the diameter of the pupil and their pain and tactile thresholds. Experiment with this phenomenon yourself. The images can be external (i.e., pictures or film), or you can try conjuring a fantasy next time you masturbate.
Get reacquainted with your G-spot
Have you heard about your so-called G-spot, but given up on finding it? Start up the search party! The Grafenberg spot is a sensitive area felt through the anterior or front wall of the vagina about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the cervix. This area is very easy to palpate if you lie on your back and have a partner insert two fingers into the vagina (palm up) using a "come here" motion.
What does the G-spot do? Well, it's an area of heightened sensitivity that intensifies sensations during sex. As reported by women we've spoken to, here are the positions of vaginal intercourse that stimulate the G-spot the most: rear entry, woman on top, or man on top kneeling up with the woman's legs over the man's shoulders. In this way, the head of the penis hits the area of the G-spot.